A while back I was sitting in the front yard with my youngest child watching him ride his bike. At one point, he stopped riding and started picking up rocks off of the street. He ran up to me and excitedly yelled, "Mama, close your eyes!!" I leaned forward expectantly and closed my eyes waiting to receive my latest treasure. He then exclaimed, "Open!" His sweet little face was beaming as he handed me a pile of asphalt and said "I love you to the moon and back mommy." That little pile of asphalt rocks was such a sweet gift to this mama. Of course, it wasn't the rocks that captivated me so but the heart behind the rocks. God immediately spoke into my heart and allowed me to see the parallel.
I had no need for asphalt rocks. If I had needed some, I had full access to them...my street was full of them and I could have easily gone and gotten them for myself. In the same way, the Sovereign Creator and Sustainer of all things doesn't really need anything that I have to give to Him. In the grand scheme of things, what I offer up to Him must look just like those dirty little rocks. But how His heart must be warmed when He looks past the offering and sees the heart that offers it instead.
After seeing how much I loved my rock gift, Hayes then proceeded to collect rocks for the next hour. I am not exaggerating...literally three minutes would not pass without him running up to me with another rock and exclaiming "I love you even more!" His little blond curls were drenched in sweat as he worked himself into near exhaustion.
God allowed me to see the parallel in my own life...the years I had spent working my own self into exhaustion trying to earn His love when all the while He loved me with such pure and perfect love.This comparison was huge to me. One of the major false beliefs that the Lord had to overcome in my life was that His love for me was based on my behavior. This involved sin on my part in not believing the Truth of what He promises, but was also linked to my past experience of love being conditional. Before I experienced the gift of pure and perfect love, I struggled with intense feelings of worthlessness. The Bible tells us that "all of our righteous deeds are like filthy garments." I always fell miserably short...God knew I always would...that's why He sent Jesus. I was trying to earn the very love that Jesus hung on the cross to freely give me.
I finally had to sit Hayes in my lap and explain to him that I loved him so much...I wouldn't love him any more or any less if he never gave me another rock...I loved him just for who he was...As I spoke those words to him my Heavenly Father spoke them to me as well. I made Hayes lay all those rocks down and snuggle up in my lap and rest. In that moment, as I sat there holding Hayes, I knew that my Heavenly Father was holding me and asking me to do the same...
Whenever I find myself doubting His love for me or I begin to struggle with those old feelings, I immediately know I've reverted back to old patterns of trying to earn the Lord's love. I repent and thank Him for loving me with such unconditional love. That's what makes His love so perfect...it has nothing to do with me but everything to do with Him. It's who He is...GOD IS LOVE...pure, perfect, untainted love...and once you experience that nothing else will ever satisfy.
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Precious story! So very thankful for God's unconditional LOVE!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing sweet friend. Once again, God has touched my heart through your message.
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