Day 4

About 2 months ago as our family was preparing to go on vacation I ordered some books to read while on the beach. One of them was a book by Tom Davis, the founder of Children’s Hope Chest, called Red Letters, Living a Faith that Bleeds. I had no idea what the book was about other than the title grabbed my attention. I remember sitting on the beach and opening it up. I quickly saw that the majority of the book was devoted to the global AIDS pandemic and the injustices carried out because of it and the lack of response from people…particularly the lack of involvement from people of faith…people who profess to walk and live as Jesus did. Honestly, it was a great book, but I clearly remember thinking that I probably would have never read it had I known what it was about. I had never known anyone with AIDS and I probably never would and honestly I remember thinking “What’s this book got to do with my life?” Just a month after reading that book and making that statement, I am surrounded by AIDS. It is just one more example to me of the Sovereignty of God. It is further reassurance that God has a plan for our lives…the Word says “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails.”

I do not have adequate words to describe today…horrific and unfathomable do not seem to do it justice. We left the orphanage this morning to make the short trek into the rural community of Sweetwaters where many of the children that live here have come from. I had tried to prepare myself for what we would see, but when you live the life that I do, that isn’t really possible. I am having a difficult time even trying to communicate it, but I will do my best because these peoples stories deserve to be told and I believe one of the reasons God brought me here was so that I could in some way be a voice for them. My voice is only one and the devastation so catastrophic it feels the equivalent of trying to speak to a million people without a microphone. My words have no power or authority but I know that the One who lives in me has all authority and power and I pray that He would speak through these words that I type.

Just a warning....this post is long and is disturbing.

This is a picture of one of the child-headed households we visited today. The inside of the house consists of 4 rooms...2 of which are completely empty and covered in some type of animal excrement. One room contains a small tin basin used for bathing and a makeshift fire pit for cooking. The other room has one torn up couch and makeshift chairs.There are 6 children living in this house with the oldest one being only 15 years old. The youngest child, a little girl only 7, was raped last month. Because of her distress they put her on what they call "mental drugs". You cannot take this medication along with ARV's (Anti-retroviral medication) because they counteract each other. Also, ARV's are not effective if not taken properly and you can imagine that with children left in charge that would be the case. If you notice the mounds in this picture...they are graves...these children's mother, father, 2 sisters and brother are buried in their front yard. I cannot imagine having to walk by those graves every single day and the hopelessness of not being able to escape the reality of it. The house is not safe for them to stay in at night so all 6 children sleep next door in the neighbors home.

This picture is of a house that consists of a grandmother living with 14 children. There was a bad storm and the roof fell in. Some people of the community tried to help but they have little resources to use in the first place. They told me they pray and wait for help. The following pictures are of their entire possessions...a table with dishes, fire pit that is used as a stove, and a container of clothing in the corner...and probably the most disturbing is the "pantry"...literally only half a head of lettuce and some almost rotten potatoes....for a family of 14...

Through these doors lived a family of 7. When we walked in, there was someone lying on the floor completely covered by a blanket wheezing and making a terrible sound...she was a 21 year old girl...close to death dying from tuberculosis and AIDS. Sitting on a mattress in the far corner was a grandmother and small child, another woman with a little boy tied to her back, and an older girl nursing a 2 week old baby. Gail, a nurse and the founder of Tabitha Ministries, gave the sick girl some type of breathing treatment and an additional bottle of medicine. It would have been impossible for them to get her to the nearest clinic and without the medicine she would have likely died within the next couple of days. We prayed for the girl and left them with an AIDS bucket. The grandmother was so appreciative and kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you (in Zulu) and lifted her hands up to the sky.

This is Herrana. She has full blown AIDS and her only living relative left is a grandson. When we walked up the hill to her house she was literally laying on a cot on the ground outside of the house. Her grandson is in school and since she has no one remaining to care for her she is taken care of by her neighbor, Constance. That is Constance sitting beside her on the mat. They were so funny when I asked if it was okay to take their photo...they happily posed and then wanted to see what they looked like. We delivered an AIDS bucket to her also (given through Global Baptist Relief) consisting of a blanket, sheets, socks, washcloth, toothbrush, soap, and Vaseline and prayed over her. She was so grateful and kept saying (again, in Zulu) oh wow, thank you, thank you, wow, oh thank you. This woman was beautiful and I cannot explain the emotions that welled up inside of me over the injustice and the feeling that no one should have to die in this way.

This is a shot of the community of Sweetwaters. Literally there isn't a house here that has not been affected by this disease. The AIDS rate is 50%. House after house filled with graves, children unattended and people dying. There is no economic opportunity here so to find work people must leave the community. As people have gotten sick with AIDS they return home to Sweetwater to die. There is no longer any family structure left here. Rape is prevalent against not only the vulnerable children but also the elderly women. Food is scarce and death is everywhere. It is a catastrophic situation and there is no direction to turn to find safety or relief. There are approximately 6000 children living in child-headed households. Tabitha furnished uniforms for 3000 children to attend one of the schools but we were told that there are at least 4000 children that are not able to attend school. Tabitha has several Zulu women who volunteer as either "mobile moms"....women who check on the situation of the children in child-headed households once a week and "hospice caretakers"...these women are not nurses but have been trained by Gail to be able to check in on the AIDS patients and offer basic help and report back to Tabitha if the need is severe. Meet an amazing and heroic woman named Zanele....

This women is extraordinary. She is the lady that we went around with today to make these home visits. She is in her late 30's and has been with Tabitha ministries since they began caring for victims of AIDS in the community. She is married and she and her husband have close to 30 children of the community living with them. She checks on as many children as she can and also makes daily visits to check on AIDS victims. She literally know the names and ages and situations of at least 300 of the children that live around her. Zanele is not paid but merely receives a food stipend to help provide for her family. She tells me that she used to have a group of believers of about 15 but now only she is left. There is no church here so it is extremely hard because she says that even if someone comes to believe in Jesus it is so easy to fall away because there is no discipleship or teaching and the person is usually drawn back into their cultural tradition. There are not adequate words to describe her life and her selflessness. After she came out of a house today of a child that had just passed away I asked her how she did it every single day. She said it is hard but it must be done. There is no one here to help and it is everywhere. She says since Tabitha has started doing a one day a month retreat it has helped...this is a day when all the caretakers gather at the center for worship and prayer...she says it is during this day that she lets it all out and gives it to the Lord. Please pray for Zanele...that God would give her strength and encouragement.

House after house and story after story today all speak of unbelievable suffering and injustice. Gail and Zanele even said later that they did not take us anywhere really bad because they did not want us to see anything too terrible. Back at home we have the choice of whether to look at these things or not...if something becomes too uncomfortable we can push it aside and distract ourselves from it and really not have to think about it again. These people do not have that luxury. The stirring that God has been doing in my heart was confirmed for me today... Given the opportunity to step back from my life, I am able to clearly see how selfish I am and how much my life is defined by my own comfort and security. Given the opportunity to be around those who give all of themselves for the sake of Christ and for another, I am able to clearly see how little of myself I do give. To follow Christ means we actually follow Him...wherever He leads and whatever He asks... no matter the cost...

Please pray for this people group...it is beyond overwhelming and the needs of the people here far outweigh what this ministry team can accomplish...apart from Jesus, this situation is beyond hopeless...In Psalm 9:18 He promises "But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish." Praise be to the Living God, the Defender of the weak and needy, the Sustainer of the weary, HOPE is alive because of Him.

"Let them know that You, whose name is the Lord-that You alone are the Most High over all the earth."